Some Ways of Killing D&D People

We live in a world without hitpoints. Death is not a certain countdown.

  1. Smash Bros HP. Play D&D as normal but add your damage up. When your damage passes a threshold, save or die. Roll d100 and roll over your damage total or die. Do this every subsequent instance of getting hurt.

    Maybe use the old HD as the threshold. Like, wizards start testing at over 4 damage. Or alternatively save every time they take damage, screw the bookkeeping.
  2. I'M THE FUCKING DADDY system. Standard HP, except they are now how you hit things. Gamble your HP as dice. Each HP spent lets you roll a die, but keep the same number as you usually would. Rolling to hit, spend 3 HP, roll 3d20 and pick the best one. Spend 8, roll 8, keep 1 and so on. All violent action takes energy.At 0 HP you are at the whims of the enemy. They can automatically kill you, or the DM can have them do something else, like kidnap you or chop your arms off.

    Damage works like normal, but use HP to roll the dice.

    Probably wanna increase HP pools a bit.
  3. DAMAGE DICE EXPLODE. The d4 knife is now interesting

Unsure death is fun. Having a sense of impending doom is fun. Knowing you can take a couple of shots is too comfortable. Turning your life resource into currency is exciting.

What's up my droogs?

What's happening, what's going to happen, who are we, what are we, where is that, why are that, where do?

Calm down.

Firstly this is very important:

Talking about your blog is boring, but this blog is fine and as alive as it ever was. I'll be here in my spare time between helping other people make things real.

I care about politics a lot but I'm not gonna talk about it with any seriousness in public 'cos others do culture war a lot better. Assume everyone who is obviously a shitlord sits comfortably on my shitlist.

I am too busy, but fine I'll be the ambassador of the OSR.

I figure since I talk to myself while I'm working I might as well do it on Twitch and make a spectacle of myself. I even have a cat that won't fuck off, people love that right?

G+, the only social media platform that wasn't complete and utter shite, is on its way out. You can just stay here, I'll keep you company. Or go to Discord and harass me in retro relay. Follow me on other platforms if you like, but they'll be mostly shitposts and self promotion (you know, like absolutely everything else on them)

I'm going to have a table at Dragonmeet on the 1st of December. Come and say hi.

Business plan for the Melsonian Arts Council:

  • Make books forever and never stop
  • Earn enough money to pay the bills
  • Earn more money than hype-man invaders
  • Win more prizes
  • Become insufferable egomaniacs
All work in progress.

HEY, you know what still exists? THE UNDERCROFT! 
Do you write weirdo D&D stuff for funsies?
Wanna tidy it up enough to be published in a trashy periodical?
Wanna get paid 3p a word for it? (don't have to google it, bad rate but more than the publisher will be getting)
Then tell me about it and we'll talk.

Art Preservation

Here, have a list of excellent artists that I have had reason to interact with.
 This was maintained on G+ but somebody decided to ruin that. For now I'm just cutting and pasting it here but I'll tart it up later.

 +Evlyn M -
 +Matthew Adams -
 +Simon Forster -
 +Claytonian JP -
 +Jeremy Duncan -
 +Jim Magnusson -
+Sean Poppe -
 +Anxy Anxy -
 +Nicol√≤ Maioli -
 Louise Perfect, who doesn't do the internet (I can get you in touch if you want) +Oli Palmer -
 +Andrew Walter -
+Jason Sholtis -
 +cecil howe -
 +Dirk Detweiler Leichty -
 +Courtney Campbell -

Troika: Numinous Edition 24 hour warning


This is the obligatory 24 hour reminder, and then we can all take a breather.

The Troika! Numinous Edition Kickstarter is 24 hours from ending. We've unlocked the Plastic Sea and maxillae slurping vampires, along with an expanded bestiary.
Here's a list of things we currently aren't getting
  • An adventure on The Wall by ENnie award winning Andrew Walter
  • A book of Kafkaesque nightmares by critical darling Jeremy Duncan.
  • The Troikan Guide to Chromatic, Metallic & Pseudo Pigs.
  • And more art!
Who knows? We pray for pigs. Deus ex social media!

Troika! Numinous Edition Kickstarter is live

Details in the Kickstarter. Give me money, me and my friends will make a book. It'll be a good book.

You guys know Troika! though, you're reading this after all. However I'm cashing in all the karma I've accumulated from not being that guy hanging about forums and suggesting Troika! whenever someone so much as mentions something slightly appropriate to it. If this game or anything we've made has been significant to you in any way then I kindly ask that you shove this campaign in peoples' faces, tell them what you think about the game, saturate the nerd world. Tell all your podcast friends that I'm an interview hoot. I dunno, improvise.

Redjade Embassy

Ambassador Reapget 5/7/2
Spell: Slide Skyward

Reapget is a thick necked and affable man, dressed in a sackcloth decorated with red stones. His hat of office, begrudgingly donned when with company, is a huge bored out red rock. Only one staff member, an old secretary that mostly keeps the fire warm and gets the shopping in. A fine office, now very homely. Clothes hang across the room on improvised washing lines, extra mismatched comfortable chairs have been added to the original furniture around the fire. Desks are used as shelves for potted plants. 47 red tone Redjade coins distributed evenly among the sides of comfortable chairs. A tin of coffee. Three fine chiming stones.

RUMOUR: One of the animals in the Vaulted Animarium is actually a cokcroached deputy alcalde

Main directory

Precious Gem Tree

Full map

Precious Gem Tree
Plump Remains 7/10/5
Spell: Earthquake

Plump Remains is excitable, prone to oaths, and boneless. The grocery is open to the street, colourful, and fragrant. He imports seasonal fruits from all over the spheres, but has a particular love of artichokes and will expound upon their virtues. 5p/lb of fruit. Minor glamour on the display stands, visitors must test their luck or buy one provision's worth of fruit. Always busy, all variety of customer, high and low, though popular with tourists.

RUMOUR: The Tsar of River Stately is about to arrive in town, his legions of fans will undoubtedly erupt.

RUMOUR: A shipment of poorly made dwarves has gone missing on the way to the incinerators. The dwarves do not care.

Hastorus Demagoguery

Haitif Hastorus 9/16/1 (1)
Spell: Babble

Bloated almost spherical man. Dressed in a rubber suit covering everything but his bald and lumpen head. Shop is full of books recording speeches throughout history. 4 in 6 chance any given speech is present. Many mirrors, some full length and covered in thick cloth. You can see all of the shop in any one mirror. Drawer full of needles and cotton balls. Bottle of bonal behind a book on alternative history speeches, along with three glasses of unique design. Charges 100p for consultation, 5p per word written, 658p per hour of live demagoguery. 1 in 6 chance he is drunk, 1 in 6 chance his mouth is blistered and unable to speak only write.

RUMOUR: A gang of fish-people plan to kidnap the Bishop of Barley at his sermon in the Plaza of Time this afternoon.