What Would Conan Do?: July 2018

Precious Gem Tree

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Precious Gem Tree
Plump Remains 7/10/5
Spell: Earthquake

Plump Remains is excitable, prone to oaths, and boneless. The grocery is open to the street, colourful, and fragrant. He imports seasonal fruits from all over the spheres, but has a particular love of artichokes and will expound upon their virtues. 5p/lb of fruit. Minor glamour on the display stands, visitors must test their luck or buy one provision's worth of fruit. Always busy, all variety of customer, high and low, though popular with tourists.

RUMOUR: The Tsar of River Stately is about to arrive in town, his legions of fans will undoubtedly erupt.

RUMOUR: A shipment of poorly made dwarves has gone missing on the way to the incinerators. The dwarves do not care.

Hastorus Demagoguery

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Haitif Hastorus 9/16/1 (1)
Spell: Babble

Bloated almost spherical man. Dressed in a rubber suit covering everything but his bald and lumpen head. Shop is full of books recording speeches throughout history. 4 in 6 chance any given speech is present. Many mirrors, some full length and covered in thick cloth. You can see all of the shop in any one mirror. Drawer full of needles and cotton balls. Bottle of bonal behind a book on alternative history speeches, along with three glasses of unique design. Charges 100p for consultation, 5p per word written, 658p per hour of live demagoguery. 1 in 6 chance he is drunk, 1 in 6 chance his mouth is blistered and unable to speak only write.

RUMOUR: A gang of fish-people plan to kidnap the Bishop of Barley at his sermon in the Plaza of Time this afternoon.