Concerning Mudmen II: Son of Mudman

A vicious, quiet competitiveness sits in the corner on top of the book case kicking its legs. When one sees what is good and beautiful it pipes up. Push it push it push it, push it 'till it breaks. To its merit it doesn't want to destroy everyone, just beat them. But saying "it could be worse" invites it. Instead one must use the newer chant: "Mouth shut, eyes forward and make the things." Intone it 'till the table vibrates with your powerful AUM.

All this is still true. The following may be true also.

The Mudmen don't call themselves Mudmen, though they do not consider it especially insulting. They are the Tan, they have their own language and culture on the fringe of civilisation.

Their culture is based entirely around hiding from Tolhoth, god of forge fires, who is intent on eliminating them to ensure his victory against all other gods, as foretold by the Oracle of Pellan and explained previously. While covered in the mud of Loch Doldrum they are invisible to him.

Tolhoth only killed most of his followers. As result he only killed most of the gods.

The grey clay they use to cover themselves is the finest clay around. The Potters Guild at the foot of Holy Mountain have made a name and fortune for themselves on the stuff. The mudmen do not like this one bit.

"The flames treat the clay and turn it hard and strong."

The mudmen know they are the only humans left. all others are ghosts, vengeful and jealous that they did not escape the flames. This, combined with the Potters's continued exploitation of them has made them exceedingly hostile to outsiders. Or ghosts, more accurately.

They were once the Tan, who lived beyond the mountains and worshipped all manner of domestic gods. Most of these gods are now dead, victimes of Tolhoth's crusade, but while the mudmen live he cannot finish the job. The mudmen fight for your religious freedom.

One of the gods they consider to have survived the purge bears a remarkable resemblance to Vorn.

The Potters know exactly who and what the mudmen are and have suppressed the knowledge so that they can continue to rob them of their clay. If the church knew they were orthodox worshippers they could possibly be afforded some protection, in as much as any human would, from the depredations of the potters. But they aren't human, they're Mudmen.

The Burrow is what the potters call the Mudmen's city. Burrow is more of an accurate term than city, as it is literally a series of warrens cut into the mountain side and decorated in air dried clay embellishments. The actual name of the city is Great Strenk.

Mudmen are only without their masks when under the mountain. If caught without a mask they will fall into a catatonic coma and consider themselves to be dead. If other mudmen witness this they will agree, they are indeed dead and treated as any other ghost: determinedly ignored at best, attacked at worst.

The potters sponsor adventurers to go into the burrow, claiming it is a dungeon full of treasure. It is indeed full of treasure, and dungeon-like. The mudmen will not stand for anyone entering, they can't let outsiders see their faces.

They leave the burrow to hunt and gather clay for their disguises, returning there at night. If a mudman gets stuck outside they will bury themselves in the muddy shore with reed breathing straws. They cant risk their hats falling off while they sleep and having Tolhoth coming back and stomping them into dust.

Disturbed mudmen, covered in thick mud, pouncing from their partial burial. This is responsible for rumours of them being actually made of mud

Some potters are concerned that the mudmen are right, and tolhoth will destroy the gods is they succeed in driving the mudmen to extinction. They are a small minority, and still mostly content to let all their money console them.

The abuse of the mudman population by the potters is occasionally opposed by other civilised folk. However the potters are rich and maintain the only standing army for leagues around. As "guides" for those extracting the clay.

Ultimately, the mudmen just want to be left alone.

Magic is...

... a physical burden. You carry them around like invisible squirming infants that you birth the night before. The more you have, the heavier your stride.
... ju-ju sticks. With years of training anyone can make them. You write the names of gods in resin and blood, then snap them with your thumb.
... parasitic. Plasmic entities sit inside you, contained and ready to be released. While inside they drain you steadily.
... religious. It's all a matter of knowing the right gods to call and hoping for the best.
... psychically degenerative. Magicians are distracted and forgetful, their minds are only so big. They must give up their memories for the spells to fit and their knowledge to stay. While empty they are listless and dull.
... addictive. Casting spells depletes your precious reserve. Much better to hold the power within yourself and watch the swirling impossibilities.
... a journey. The shaman travels in a spiritual landscape to find the cunning tricks of his trade.
... easy. Simple tricks that you could teach a child. The wizard is different only in the quantity he maintains.
... a contract. Every gain costs a small part of you, or a favour, or a thing. Monkey paw.
... love. An expression of irrational will and desire, focused. A Carebear Stare.
... alchemical. Potions and unguents, you sound like the milkman when you totter about.
... internal. There is no evil but that of the mind, no power than that which you create.
... a gamble. Sorcerous power is only limited by you willingness to put you health and sanity on the line.
... academic. Years of learning, wizened and frail.
... vital. Your body and mind are are an expression of your overpowering will. If you cannot change yourself how can you enact change on the world?
... tempting. Anyone can reach out and take it, but not many do. It is a bright fire, a tiger's tail.
... physically degenerative. Energy cannot be spontaneously created. It all comes from within you. Excellent for weight loss.
... arbitrary. It helps or hinders at its mindless whim. Those who practise it practise only risk management.
... a performance. The caster assumes the guise of others and plays a part. A god, a peasant, a king.
... communal. Seers and wise men, raised up from their community to guide it. They can see to the border stones and back.
... suggestive. You live the change you want to see. Voodoo dolls and vision boards.
... chaotic. This world of ours is a scab, easily picked. Look for patterns and then break them.
... lawful. Magic creates perfect order, beyond the entropy of this world.
... ancient science. You work what was lost, through rote and experimentation.
... blood. Cut to create.
... sacrifice. Life for life.

The Life of a Linkboy

Light Sources, In General

• Light illuminates 30' for however many people it can accommodate. Others can see but not much else. 
• The holder of the light chooses who benefits from it, this must include themselves.
• Anyone not illuminated suffers -2 (-6 if there is no light whatsoever) to do anything that requires eyesight.

Candle

• Provides light for one person
• Lasts for half a session
• Easily extinguished. 1 in 2 chance at the GM's discretion
• Possibility to wear it on your hat. Very likely to go out at important junctures.

Torch

• Provides light for two people
• Lasts for half a session
• Moderately hard to extinguish. If dropped it will go out on a 1 in 3, otherwise continues to provide light.

Lantern

• Provides light for three people
• Lasts for a whole session
• Very difficult to extinguish. 
• Must be carefully placed down at the start of a fight. If dropped it may smash (4 in 6) and start a small fire, thus continuing to give light until the end of the drop-causing incident. The enthusiasm of the fire is down to the GM and general logic. Lantern oil isn't napalm (to be written on the character sheet of every player).

Linkboys

• They will carry a light source, which you will provide
• They will not do anything else, unless it aids in keeping them out of harms way.
• If they are taken into harm's way they will require double pay
• If they get injured, pass a morale test or they decide it isn't worth it and go home, taking the light with them
• They do not count themselves for determining how many people are illuminated. They are very good at their job.

How to be an adventurer

Everyone is an Adventurer, if you wanted to be a wizard or specialist you should have stayed in school.

Characters:
All saving throws start at 16

Level gain works off the XP needed for a fighter
Each level you can pick either fighting, learning, or cunning

If you pick fighting you get +1 attack modifier, D8 HP and -1 Poison & Breath saves with an additional point anywhere you like (this could be used to double up poison or breath)

If you pick learning you get 2 skill points, D6 HP, and 4 points deducted from saves of your choice

If you pick cunning you get D6 HP, -2 to saves of your choice and 3 random spells from any level




Casting spells:

No more memorisation, you know all the spells you know.
To cast a spell, lose maximum HP equal to the spell's level. Maximum as in off the top, not the total. You total HP will reduce if you max HP drops below it. (this prevents just healing yourself to ignore the difficulty of magic and also allows magic users to not stop casting spell from fear of killing themselves)
If a spell would be unavailable to a magic user of your level (according to default Lamentations rules) it costs double. Example: A level 4 character casting a level 3 spell (not normally available until level 5) would lose 6 max HP when casting it
You max HP recover after 8 hours rest


Learning spells:

The only way to learn a spell is to level up. However if you have found a spell book or scroll of a particular spell then you may pick that one instead of a single random choice. This represents you having spent time learning it.
In the meantime you are still able to duplicate it and do everything except cast it off the cuff.

Entirely and objectively right advice for all occasions

Invented names are worse than real names
Cynicism is not interesting
Write lots, cut back
System doesn't matter
Neither does what other people think (it does)

Get paid
Settle for less
Take what you can get and
don't be humble (nothing is as annoying as humility in victory)

Sometimes the bad days are more common than good

Use every part of the animal
Rape is an appropriate topic for games
Politics is not an appropriate topic for conversation

Real religion is stranger and more interesting than D&D religion

And more horrible, and more real
Be brave
And sometimes the bad days are more common than the good

Do too much
Lay the track as you go
Nothing drives as well as a crash

Don't whine
Say thank you
Thank people
Thank them in private
Argue in private

Be generous
Save your spite
Save vs. Death
Kill one to make an example for the rest

Read everything
Game everything
FATAL wasn't wrong, it was just bad

Don't please the crowd
Please yourself
(sometimes the bad days are more common than the good)

You don't have to be loud
Or outgoing
Or inclusive
Be kind (everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle)
Steal everything

Copyright laws are for wimps and Americans
Imitate what you like
Pretend you know what you're doing
Don't talk about projects until they're worth showing

Don't talk, do things
Don't worship people
Don't be a lackey, don't have lackeys
Have some restraint
and the bad days are more common than the good

I keep making tables, send help.

To save my players some time I put together a very basic character roller, including the list of starting items I love so much.


Generate a guy.


The items have been written by me, stolen from Dungeon Dozen, stolen from other starting item lists, and generally stolen.



EDIT: Was brought to my attention that showing the table might be useful. Assume none of it's mine, if in doubt. The wonky sub-table was how I started adding past 100

100 Random item starter list for beginning characters.

1. Grandfather's broadsword, plain but quality. Engraved on it are the names of his dead comrades.
2. A locket containing a tiny portrait of your dear mother.
3. A scalped beard
4. d6 gold pieces stitched into your clothing.
5. A healing ointment of your mother’s, heals 2hp per application. Four applications.
6. A sock full copper bits (2d12).
7. A small, white and friendly kitten with glowing eyes. The kitten will follow the party everywhere; if it is killed, the next night there are two kittens.
8. A certificate for 168 GP if presented to the Gold Citadel.
9. A pair of well worn thumbscrews.
10. A rusted shut prayer book to Vorn.
11. Small tin of black lotus powder (d6 doses, the cheap knock-off variety that still gets you high but tends to kill repeat users)
12. A genuine treasure map (5% chance of being real).
13. Empiric phrasebook. Containing such common necessities as “You child of a long dead sow” and “Death to the Invincible Overlord!”.
14. Two men-at-arms. Father paid for six months service up front. Armed with Chainmail, shield, and spear.
15. There is small wrinkled conjoined twin somewhere on your body. It’s asleep most of time, but it has one peculiar power it can use once a day, if you wake it up and ask it nicely.
16. Cosmopolitan Cruin: henchman who knows one language unknown to adventurers.
17. A tunnel dog, loyal and well trained. A gift from "Uncle Guorgi".
18. At least half your body is covered in tattoos. These move and frolic about when no one is looking. THEY GUIDE YOU +2 wis.
19. Book of rare poetry. Prized by manticores.
20. Vial of unholy water.
21. A mechanical Goblin Key that'll lock any door.
22. A lucky Hand of Glory necklace (pickled hanged man’s hand on a rope)
23. Ancient cube of gold, quite encumbering, 50% chance of being lead with thinnest veneer of gold foil
24. Gems encased in blobs of lead for safe keeping (a troll practice).
25. Damage-proof scroll case carved of leviathan ivory.
26. Ornate ceramic vessel with cork stopper, decorated w/scenes considered quite erotic by certain folks, contains one gallon refined mineral oil, extra slippery.
27. Small leather bag with embroidered mushroom insignia: weird loam within produces a new super-nutritious fungal lobe each day if kept moist, stinks though.
28. Keepsake box containing set of pointy baby teeth dipped in bronze.
29. Musical instrument of shining brass, obviously designed to be played by creature with multiple mouths, scads of digits.
30. Giant-size coat of exquisite chinchilla-like fur, marred slightly by smear of indelible ink on massive sleeve.
31. An ivory dildo.
32. Hermetically sealed box containing chunk of rubbery troll flesh eager to remake itself once exposed to air.
33. Chest full of theatrical costumes.
34. Father's old round shield.
35. Corgo the Cognizant: able to remember important detail forgotten by adventurers. (Once per game)
36. A bundle of letters to be delivered.
37. Leprosy. You don’t feel much pain but are never sure when something has fallen off. +2 con but your HP is secret and the GM won’t tell you how injured you are until it’s too late.
38. The Tale of the Nymph and the Acolyte, bawdily illustrated.
39. Recipe for preparing a seven course meal using the components of a single monster (randomly determined) for all dishes.
40. A trolls hand mounted on a three foot rod. It will grasp objects, or make a fist. commands, grabit, leggo, fist. You found it in the Forrest gripping a tree branch.
41. A bestiary, allows the player to ask one question of the DM about any creature listed in the monster manual, fiend folio, or monster manual II, during the game.
42. Munn the torchbearer/unemployed cartographer.
43. A long stem pipe and bag of white lotus powder.
44. Ten or twelve sentences translated from your language into another random language, with phonetic spelling for the latter. "Surrender or die!" and "Where's the treasure?" top the list. 33% chance inaccurate.
45. Small vial of cerebrospinal fluid of the mind-bat: imparts random knowledge following short pleasurable coma. D3 uses.
46. Envelope of black mold spores: snorted for hours-long laughing jags, long term users identifiable by tell-tale nasal staining. D3 uses.
47. Jar of skin secretions of the blind cave frog: dilute with brandy for an interesting buzz. D6 uses.
48. Jar of pickled polychromatic fungi: mild hallucinogen, enables user to see in the dark. D3 uses.
49. A travel sewing kit. Compact but comprehensive.
50. A full face mask.
51. Keen-eyed Kruun: more likely than average to spot objects of value.
52. Wheel of gray cheese: overwhelms the pleasure centers for 10 minutes, then turns skin stone-gray and deadens emotions (cure: more gray cheese). 2D6 servings.
53. Halifam the Half-hobbled: enchanted peg-leg allows one spectacular jump (as spell) per day, d6 roll required (1-5 leap succeeds, 6 peg-leg falls off).
54. Bladder of War Juice(TM): tincture of white ape adrenal fluids and alcohol, induces battle frenzy/heart attack(5% chance).
55. Flaegra, priestess from exotic realm: on pilgrimage of self-nullification, taking on menial/dangerous tasks such as hauling treasure, carrying torches, under oath to never use considerable powers.
56. Spear-hole in both sides of neck, likes to smoke pipe for gruesome effect.
57. A tiny jar of glitternight dust: Strong hallucinogen, induces violent euphoria. Fortunately also a paralytic.
58. Syphilis. You don’t expect to live long enough to regret your heady youthfulness. -1 con +2 reflex rolls, won’t get past 50 without losing your mind.
59. Mighty Bleena: possibly the world's strongest woman, suffered series of concussions earlier in career (still refuses to wear helmet), becomes confused in battle, 50% likely to mistakenly hammer friendlies who get close to her in melee.
60. A pet snake.
61. Huroo the mentally deficient yet totally bold and confident torchbearer: loincloth, torches.
62. Cleem of the Pukarat people: two-handed sword, breechclout, a barbarian so ferociously savage and given to violence as to be a constant liability.
63. Unbelievable number of concealed daggers (5D3).
64. Packet of herbal virility enhancer.
65. Forty feet of steel wire on a spindle.
66. A bottle of mild sleeping tonic.
67. A pouch around your neck containing a wooden likeness of your parents.
68. An adorable piglet.
69. A fully furnished pack mule.
70. A really nice horse. Wow, what a handsome horse.
71. A wax paper packet of blue dye powder.
72. A pair of bear fur knee breeches.
73. An elinguated eunuch warrior slave. You monster.
74. Pot of analgesic body balm.
75. Branded with insignia of notorious slaver, still on the wanted list. 50% hand, 50% face.
76. A fine pair of trousers in your family’s tartan.
77. A small sundial on a necklace.
78. Frolees five page guide to moustaches and beards.
79. A six inch Crystal lens.
80. A small silver mirror.
81. Corrective spectacles.
82. A Ring of Luck, +1 on all saves, roll again on this list.
83. Closed helm featuring faceplate shaped as caricature of cherubic infant face.
84. A seven-fingered glove.
85. A golden false eye to replace the one you lost (randomly determine which eye is missing).
86. A copper tongue scraper.
87. Emergency escape razor stashed in wrist wrappings.
88. A bag of candied fruits.
89. Pint of noxious hill giant repellent in sealed sheep's bladder
90. A wand of eye poking. four charges. It will unerringly poke out the eye of target creature within arms reach. no roll needed.
91. An excellent wool scarf knitted by your grandmother. Bonuses to resist cold.
92. Unabridged History of the Slug Folk: 1000% more proper names than The Silmarillion, abundant w/tedious, highly repetitive minutiae of utterly pedestrian slug folk lives.
93. Illuminated scroll containing abridgement of Ahknatar the Inscrutable's classic Lethal Pitfalls of Situational Ethics
94. A live armadillo-like creature that clings tenaciously to your head, gives tactical advice, provides encouragement, sacrifices self to protect wearer from otherwise deadly blow.
95. A small bag of uncut semi-precious stones.
96. A dozen glow wasps in a round wire cage with handle. Equal to torch light at night. Require food and water daily.
97. Disguise kit w/ wigs, false moustaches/beard etc.
98. A collection of keys, hundreds of keys, of all shapes and sizes.
99. Thick ragged scar from top of head to left heel, doesn't want to talk about it.
100. Go to sub-table 1

Sub-table 1:

1. Big brother’s favourite floppy hat.
2. A large copper chamber pot.
3. An adventurous kid has decided to become your henchman.
4. Fake Fever Flixir; Induces flu-like symptoms for up to a week, depending on how much you drink.
5. A scroll tube containing the deed to the Riven Tower.

A coming of age story

We're gonna live like a movie
70s grain
Bad streets and hot tops
"... and we all learnt a lot that summer."

Successor Kings, again

A follow up from the previous post. All I've done is turn that unwieldy table into an automatic generator and extended it a bit. Mainly for my own use, but I'm a kind hearted sharer. Click the link below.

GENERATE A PETTY EMPEROR

You can obviously cut off bits of the name, not all the rulers have such long and messy tittles. They are characterised by a ludicrous level of pomposity and one-upmanship, brought on by generations of succession wars over an Empire that none of them really even remember that well. They are not the entirety of the left overs from the empire, but they are the ones who can't let go. War, deserts, plains, cities, successor states, squabbling over scraps.

And to pad this post, more of my reference pictures from The Empires.