1. Crow-
  2. Red-
  3. Heavy-
  4. Mod-
  5. Roger-
  6. Puc-
  7. Juji-
  8. Mas-
  9. Twisted-
  10. Ground-
  11. Far-
  12. Tarquin-
  13. Gno-
  14. Krysp-
  15. Veri-
  16. Dan-
  17. Cor-
  18. Frightful-
  19. Enigmatic-
  20. Lowly-
  21. Haughty-
  22. Trouble-
  23. Engine-
  24. Passable-
  25. Kriss-
  26. Kross-
  27. Jak-
  28. Bag-
  29. Ein-

  1. -legs
  2. -harvey
  3. -fairy
  4. -digest
  5. -lag
  6. -boot
  7. -cris
  8. -cros
  9. -onlius
  10. -jar
  11. -onus
  12. -badged
  13. -tightened
  14. -emptied
  15. -for
  16. -ed
  17. -hands
  18. -curried
  19. -bagged
  20. -piety
  21. -acquaintance
  22. -hildis

Campaign ship

A basic campaign structure for Troika! is to give the party a golden barge, or horizon fort, or some other convenient mode of cosmic travel. At the beginning of the campaign they might be aware of a handful of spheres, or parts of spheres, or at least discrete locations. Provide some information about what can be found in these places.

Information handed out like this should be in the same way you'd expect a 10th century sailor would have it. Spices comes from that way sorta and there are dragons there and a fountain that grants eternal life and the emperor owns a tea set that summons swans when served from. There should be desirous things that players may want.

The spiders of the spider bank have found a way to weave more robust golden sails. They refuse to sell it, ensuring their treasure ships are the fastest vessels in the spheres. Getting your hands on it would ensure faster and safer journeys.

While travelling between spheres the players must expend huge resources to fuel the ships. Most of them run on gold, but more elaborate ones might have plasmic engines.

The ship will encounter troubles between places. Go watch the ship episodes of Cowboy Beebop. Turn the ship in to a little dungeon and play the Alien film.

Bad cosmic weather, or too many beasts have attached themselves to the sails and weighed it down. The further you go without stopping to scrape of these horrifying barnacles the more dangerous the trip will be, eventually scraping your metaphysical hull against the tip of a sphere, causing reality to crash right in to you.

Keeping the ship running becomes a driving factor. Making the ship nicer, or getting a better ship, or hijacking and staffing a horizon fort: also fun. Eventually the hold will be full of arcane treasures.

Golden Barge
Horizon Fort





Fever Swamp


Why look at that cover. My, what a handsome cover! Don't take my word for it, look at it again. Now imagine the kind of words such a cover must contain. Yes! That good.

I'll spare you the endless marketing jabber and just say this: THIS IS THE NEXT BOOK FROM THE MELSONIAN ARTS COUNCIL, BOUND BY WRITING ALL-STAR LUKE GEARING'S WORDS.

Fever Swamp is:

  • An adventure
  • A hex crawl
  • A sandbox
  • In a swamp
  • Very pretty
  • Compatible with Lamentations of the Flame Princess

Fever Swamp is not:
  • Appropriate
  • Half bad


Give us all your money so that we can continue making these nice things.


Please.

Mass battle

Mass Battle rules:

Give each side odds

Have encounters

D66 Things I Found on the Demon Shore

For every hour of sifting through the treasures of the demon shore you may roll 1d6. On a 2-6 you get that much x100 in silver's worth of portable treasure, on a 1 you find an oddment and may roll on the table below.


1.
  1. A military jacket tied to a broken banner pole. When thrown to the ground it causes the enemies of the holder to allow them to leave. The fugue will be broken if anything other than retreat happens.
  2. A hand mirror, somehow undamaged from the surf. Shows a normal, non-sinister reflection. If broken the shards will sin around the holder of the mirror, directable by pointing the empty frame. This lasts for several minutes and causes damage as a spear, automatically since the cloud of glass is large and pointy.
  3. A rusty sword. The rust is so thick as to make it hard to tell the details of the weapon. Surprisingly heavy and hard, damage as maul, counts as silver. If the sword it battered against a hard surface the rust will start to fall away. Once it cracks off the insides of the sword will be revealed as a silver which bubbles and boils on contact with air. The vapours inflict sleep on any within sniffing distance. Test luck or sleep until receiving a kiss from your true love.
  4. elixir of shamazam
  5. Robe of Office. Made of mink, can summon minks? i dunno

2.

  1. Golden hanging scales. Doesn't measure weight but acquaintance. The closer an object is to the anointed, the lighter it is. A single hair will do for the purpose.
  2. Stuffed rabbit, poorly realised. If opened, sawdust and rusty nails will come out in unlimited quantities.

3.

  1. A bunch (3d6) of shrunken heads tied together by their hair. If one of the heads is cut from the bunch and allowed to drop to the floor it will grow a shrunken body to match its shrunken countenance. They can be commanded like very clever dogs, simple commands and whatnot. Skill 7, Stamina 12, damage as medium monster, never heals, immune to magic. Throwing the whole bouquet on the ground does nothing, they must be cut. Once all the heads are detached from the knot of hair, the knot can be boiled in any liquid to turn it edible but foul tasting (counts as provisions). Reusable.
  2. Rake of Monogenes. A very large four pronged gardening tool requiring significant effort to carry (fills 4 inventory slots). It has a wooden shaft encrusted with coral and limpets and a blackened iron head.

4.

  1. Entwined Statue of Simon the Unbeliever. One of a pair. Whatever happens to one happens to the other, and the other piece of this set is currently sitting in the public stomach of The Great Nutrient, quietly fizzing away much to bathers amusement. The statue on the shore of the demon sea is glistening below the waist with what can be confused with water, but is in fact a painful acid that sticks to and dissolves flesh rapidly. Anyone interfering with the statue must test their luck or get some on them, which will burn intensely (as dagger, per minute) until neutralised. This require at least two provisions worth of water or running in to the demon sea to bathe it (feel free to introduce some natives if they do this). The goo can't be wiped off for long, since it is from another place and constantly refreshed, it can however be collected in glass containers and used later.

5.
  1. Handkerchief of Rangda. It looks like a bit of balled up, soggy, silk, which it is. However it is also the lost handkerchief of Rangda, queen of the Leyeks. Anyone who thinks to use the handkerchief to attack anyone (and there is nothing about the handkerchief that would suggest this to be sensible) will find its stats as follows:
    1
    2
    3
    4
    5
    6
    7+
    3
    6
    12
    24
    48
    96
    ALL OF IT EVER
  2.  Crowned head of a giant statue made of verdigrised copper. Large enough to live in (roll a random encounter or something if they enter it)
  3. A bone fishhook the size of a ship's anchor. If you can somehow cast it it will always catch something.
  4. Ornamental ceramic bell with no clapper. When rung it extinguishes fires within 24 feet.


6.
  1. Trousers of Scale. These metal trousers are a thick and sturdy mesh of metal scales, polished to a chrome shine regardless of the salty brine they sit in. They fit any bipedal wearer snugly. If your armour was not at +2, then these trousers will cause it to be so since they are very sturdy. This will come with all the usual penalties associated with armour, such as swimming and sneaking and sleeping. They are also quite sinister and hungry.
         Every day you wear the trousers they will become tighter (d3 stamina loss), gradually crushing your flesh away, sieving it through the scales until it hugs your bones like new and shiny flesh. This takes about a week and won't kill you. Eventually you will have scrawny metal legs.
         They will resist being removed, requiring the wearer to sacrifice a significant and debilitating amount of flesh with them. Those looking to remove them will permanently lose d6 stamina/day worn due to the trousers stripping the skin and muscle from their legs.

My Very Own GenCon Stall




It's GenCon and I'm too poor and hate-filled to run a stall there, so instead I'm going to project my malignant presence via the magic of contrived sale events.

Spend £10 or more and you won't pay postage, even if you're Johnny Foreigner. Buy some books, or pictures, or paper miniatures, or tell someone else to do it for you, or something, or other, and so on and so on.

Where: www.melsonia.com


Coupon Code: DONTTOUCHME



Starts now, ends on the 21st.

Peculiarities take one, part 1 of 6

When making a new character, roll up to three times on this table to become more planetouched (spheretouched? eh).



1 - By the Great Black Anti-Suns


11 Eyes


  1. Your eyes are dark and shimmer like the bottom of a starlit well. You don’t need external light to see by.
  2. Eyestalks. Your eyes extend from your sockets on stalks. Besides being a bit gross it isn’t hugely useful. -1 in grapple test ‘cos people quickly learn to grab you by the eyeballs.
  3. Wizard Eyes- You were born with wizard sight. Whether it’s a boon or a curse is rather subjective, but you have it. +6 Second Sight. However, it is better than the usual wizarding stare, seeing not only the magic in this world, but beyond it into other realities and dimensions. It is incredibly confusing. The GM should feel free to make up a peculiar encounter for you to represent these visions, keeping you from being sure what is real or not.
  4. Bulging eyes- Your eyes protrude from their sockets. Neither useful nor harmful, but it is quite unsettling.
  5. A golden false eye to replace the one you lost (randomly determine which eye is missing).
  6. You are afflicted with the Red Eye Curse. While your eyes are open you constantly cast Fire Bolt as though you had 12 skill in it. It will target whatever you are looking at, and you will suffer the effects of the Oops! Table as normal. You can still see while your eyes are closed, from a side effect of the curse. It’s very hard to sleep.

12 Horns

  1. Ram horns - Fashionably demonic. Head-butt people for damage as mace
  2. Orix horns - Two long, spiraling horns extend from your head. While more sinister and impressive than goat horns, they are not very useful.
  3. Rhino horn – A single horn rising from your forehead allows you to charge people and cause damage as knife
  4. Antlers – Glorious many pointed antlers, fury in the winter, bloody in the spring. They serve no practical purpose since you lack the physiology to use them as a weapon, but they look marvellous.
  5. Tusks – Jutting from your jaw are two great big ivory tusks. They serve no real function.
  6. Frills – Instead of the usual pillars, your horns are plates and frills like those of a dinosaur. You always count as having at least 1 armour.

13 Unusual legs

  1. Crow feet - Your legs pinch off below the knee into huge crow feet. Clawed (as knife) and spindly.
  2. Goat legs - A goat's hind legs replace your own. +2 Run
  3. Long legs - Your legs are twice as long as they should be. You can step over obstacles easier than others, but your height is often a problem.
  4. Short legs - Half the length of normal legs. Half movement.
  5. Hover chair – Fabricated by yourself, stolen from the foyer of a god or built by a dwarf and paid for in gold.
  6. Metal leg – A single leg has been replaced by a beautiful prosthetic. Functions as good as new, worth d66x1000 silver.

14 Hands

  1. Crab hand. One (or both) of your hands is a chitinous claw. -1(-2) to all manual dexterity rolls. However they’re meaty and strong, +1(+2) strength, and count as knives if used to attack someone.
  2. Claws. Strong claws grow from your fingers and toes. Shoes may prove a problem. 1 in 6 chance they’re retractable. Damage as knife, +1 Climb
  3. Foetid touch. Your hands are slick and sweaty with disease. If anything you touch comes into contact with an open wound or someone’s mouth they must test their luck or contract dysentery.

15 Demonic muscles

Muscles on muscles. 8-pack, square head, so on. Even though you are large you are yet stronger than would seem appropriate. +3 Strength

16  A tail

  1. Pig tail - Not prehensile, not very useful. Painful to tuck it in, best to let it hang.
  2. Prehensile tail - Whatever form it takes, you can use it like a weak third hand. Using it to attack or other such thing is at -4.
  3. Scorpion tail - A huge chitinous tail erupts from the base of your spine, easily 4 metres long. It can lash out for damage as spear, causing a luck test in those taking damage. They must test every turn until they succeed, or take a further d3 damage each turn.
  4. Peacock tail – Not literally a peacock tail, maybe, but an impressive and beautiful tail arrangement is yours.
  5. Dog-like tail – A medium length, furry tail that wags of its own accord.
  6. Horses tail – A short nub of flesh with long flowing hair

21 Tongues

  1. Forked tongue. You were born to weave falsehoods. +1 to any rolls related to lying, disguise or other such things. The GM should give you some slack in non-rolling situations. Your tongue is also literally forked
  2. Sharp tongue. Pokey, damage as knife.
  3. Long Tongue. Your tongue is like that of a chameleon. You can extend it to 3 metres and use it to grab things.
  4. Biting Tongue

22 Wings

  1. Leathery bat wings
  2. Oily vulture wings, tacky to the touch, sometimes stick together and cause you to crash. Must test Fly every 10 minutes or fall.
  3. Swan wings
  4. Vestigial wings on your back. Their look is up to you, but all they do is flap excitedly.
  5. Mechanical contrivance, very loud and quite heavy. Takes up three inventory slots
  6. Raw and bloodied bone, non-functional as wings but can be used to whack people or hang ornaments off of. Damage as club.

If you can, you fly at your normal movement speed and gain +1 Fly. They cannot be hidden.

23 Teeth

  1. Fangs. Impressive overbite, very obvious. Bite people for damage as knife. Every time you win a grapple get a free bite if you like.

24 Gills

Breathe underwater without trouble. They flap while you talk.

25 Nose

  1. Beak. You talk like the bird from The Neverending Story 2. Also feel free to peck people’s eyes out with your enormous beak (damage as sword)
  2. Trunk. Instead of a nose, a glorious trunk. Not quite elephant length, rather 6d6 inches long. It can hold things and otherwise twitch about. If it’s at least 12 inches long you can hold a knife with it (-2 to all rolls using the trunk).
  3. Pig snout. Oink. Excellent at finding truffles or other stinky ground food. +2 awareness.
  4. Long nose. Long and saggy. -1 in grapples ‘cos people tend to grab it.

26 Arms

  1. Extra arm
  2. Tentacle arms. You arms are somewhat octopoidal. Very useful for grappling (+4) and fitting into tight spaces.

31 Unusual Skin

  1. Inside out - OH DEAR GOD LET IT DIE. Functionally uninteresting, but your skin is inside out. You leave sticky patches when you sit down and can fake death really well. Maybe be able to hide things in your internal cavity.
  2. Your skin is covered in fine, small thorns that break off when brushed against like a cactus or rose. d2 automatic damage to anyone you touch or grapple. The life of a thorny fellow is a lonely one.
  3. Black. It’s hard to distinguish the contours of your body unless you wear clothes. +2 to Sneaking.
  4. Radient. Your skin glows faintly. It is alluring. +3 reaction/intimidation rolls. Also casts a dull light, like a candle.
  5. You hair and skin is white, your eyes bright pink, your body weak. -4 Stamina, -1 Skill. You are however naturally gifted in magic, and may choose three spells to start the game with 4 ranks in. All magical training takes half the time and cost.
  6. Skin like deep summer forests, hair like brambles. +2 to stealth while in a forest setting. You never starve as long as you have at least 6 hours of direct sunlight per day. It does not heal you though.

32 Unusual Vital Fluids

  1. Metal - Liquid metal! Silver veins. People wounding (5+) you need to test their luck or take 2d6 damage from molten hot metal
  2. Mucous - Thick green-yellow filth. When testing your luck to not die from your wounds, get a free re-roll. Your blood is slow and sticky, very hard to lose.
  3. Poisonous - People getting any in their mouth must test their luck or die.
  4. Tar - Thick and black. Anyone causing you 5+ damage must test their Strength or their weapon gets stuck in you.
  5. Plant - White/green sap blood. You are always fragrant.
  6. Wind - A yawning portal to Pandemonium lays at your heart. When wounded (5+) the yowling madness escapes. Everyone except the bleeder must test their luck or be stunned for a turn.

33 Mystical Parasite

You have contracted an other worldly parasite, wrapped around your ego and feeding on your dreams. If you ever fail to raise a skill at the end of an adventure it will devour d6 stamina before the next. However, if you ever die there is a 1 in 6 chance it will drag your spirit part way with it when it returns to the astral plane, causing you to become a ghost. You may continue playing as a ghost.

34 Crown of flesh

You have a series of protruding growths on your head that look distinctly crown-like. Replace the 6th Mien of all demons with “worshipful”.

35 Spines

A crest of spines runs from your forehead, down your back and to the base of your spine. You need to get creative with clothing. -1 to people grappling you, those things hurt.

36 Withered

  1. One or both arms are skin and bone, like a salted mummy, and grossly disproportionate to your body. -1 to Strength
  2. One or both legs are shrunken and brittle. -1 to Running
  3. Your head is shrunken, as though a headhunter’s trophy sat on your shoulders. Your mouth is stuck in a sinister, moronic grin.
  4. Your whole body appears as though you were long dead and dry. Oddly no physical effect, but people may mistake you for being an unliving monser.
  5. One or both hands are twisted, claw-like, and frail. You suffer no physical effect, but must hold things oddly.
  6. You are well past your prime, old verging on frail. You lose 4 Staminal but gain 2 Luck.

41 Corrosive vomit

You may squirt out your guts at will. Ranged attack, deals damage as follows, and half as much to yourself.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7+
2
2
2
4
4
6
8

42 Detachable limbs

If a limb is severed it still functions normally. However they don’t reattach themselves. Instead you’d need to brace them to yourself somehow. This applies to everything, even your head. Dismemberment still hurts and can kill you, but only through damage, not automatically.

43 Fur

It can be patchy or luxurious, your choice. Resistance to mundane cold, as though wearing appropriate gear at all times.

44 Ears

  1. Large ears. Large and saggy like an elephant. Keeps you cool in the summer. +1 Awareness

45 Curious Legs

  1. Frog legs. You have long bouncy frog legs. You appear smaller because of how you stand (like a frog) but you’re normal height. You can jump 15 feet straight upwards.

46 Long neck

Long snakelike neck. You can twist it 180 degrees! +1 while grappling.

51 Faces

  1. Fish Face. Your face makes you look like your head is stuck in the rear end of a trout. You talk with a strange accent and can breathe under water.
  2. Rearranged face. Your mouth might be in your forehead, your eyes up your nostrils, and so on.

52 Bewildering Skin

  1. Bark Skin. Your skin is rough and mossy, pleasant smelling. Your skin protects your as chain armour, but does not heal quickly. Resting only restores 1 Stamina, and then only in sunlight.
  2. Thick skin. Your basic armour is as leather, due to your thick skin. Does nothing while wearing proper armour.
  3. Scales. 50/50 partial/full cover. Either way, gives you added protection (always count as wearing leather) and looks cool.
  4. Feathers. Partial or full coverage. Pick a colour for them.
  5. Snail Skin. Your skin is covered with the thin delicate shell of a snail. It cracks and oozes easily, offering no protection. All it does is give you the appearance of sappy bark.
  6. Chameleonic. Your skin can change colour at will. You don’t have enough control to make complex patterns, but you can imitate most hues. +1 Stealth +1 Disguise

53 Fingers

  1. Webbed Fingers. Maybe a discrete extension, or maybe you have big fat frog hands, either way have +3 Swimming.
  2. Many jointed fingers. Long and spidery.
  3. Three thick fingers on each hand.
  4. Asymmetrical clawed hand. Either your left or your right hand is replaced with a claw of some sort. Possibly a bird talon, crab claw, somthing like that. Deals damage as knife.
  5. Tentacle fingers. Like the arms only less useful and more disgusting. +1 grapple.

54 Bestial Head

  1. Pig
  2. Dog
  3. Rabbit. Can see the future
  4. Lion
  5. Pelican
  6. Goat

55 Excellent Muscle control

You can exert conscious control over your muscles. You can hold your breath to the point of death, you can stop your own heart, vomit at will, hold onto a ledge until your fingers fall off, and so on. This does not counter magical control. +2 Climb +1 Strength

56 Therianthropy

You can turn yourself into an animal at will and gain the following benefits for doing so. You maintain full mental capacity but drop (or burst out of) your clothes and belongings. All do damage as small monsters, except for dog and pig which are modest. If you die in your animal form you stay in your animal form.

  1. Pig. +2 awareness, may eat any vaguely edible matter as a provision. Damage as modest monster
  2. Goat. Can talk in a terrifying goat-voice.
  3. Small monkey. +6 climb.
  4. Dog. +1 awareness, +4 run. Does damage as modest monster.
  5. Cat. +4 stealth, +4 second sight.
  6. Rat. +4 climb, +2 Stealth, does 1 damage on successful attack.

61 Torso head

Your head is set between your shoulders, right in the middle of your chest. This prevents you from wearing hats and normal armour, but is otherwise quite alright.

62 Voice

Your voice...:
  1. Always echoes
  2. Lush and booming.
  3. Universally understood by everyone. This doesn’t go both ways, unfortunately.
  4. Hissy like a snake
  5. Slurping, drool covered words
  6. Jumbled chaos-speak


63 Mobile Bones

You can dislocate and manipulate your skeletal system in a disconcerting manner. You may fit through any hole bigger than your head, although anything narrower than your shoulders might take a minute or two.


64 Many-Jointed

  1. Left arm
  2. Right arm
  3. Left leg
  4. Right leg
  5. Fingers
  6. Neck

The limb in question isn’t immediately obvious as being too jointed, rather it has an uncanny mystery too it.

65 Iron Flesh

Either due to an accident or because of practical considerations, you are partially mechanical. Choose some portion of your body to be mirror finished metal rather than flesh. Gain +1 natural armour. Now roll d6: on a 1 you are actually a thinking engine which is part flesh, and not the other way around.

66 Semi Insubstantial

You flew too close to an anti-sun, or drank from the White Sea, or a wizard did it. Either way, you are somewhat insubstantial. You are always a little bit translucent, but at will (and at the cost of 1 stamina per second) you can become fulling insubstantial, able to pass through walls and ignore physical considerations.