Planar Cultures

All those noble traits you have? Not inherently noble. All those moral or terrible things you do? Not moral or terrible. Take ambition, for instance; plenty of cultures consider it to be undesirable bordering on anti-social. Some people reading that are sneering and thinking arrogant thoughts. Yes, you would probably be that "leader of men" as the Zuni sarcastically put it. Back in the day they'd stone you as a witch, you know?

To make truly alien cultures we need to accept that what we think is inalienable truth is just a coincidence of time and place. Roll it back all the way to monkeys in trousers, assume the fundamentals go no further and just pick the colour.

The following assumes essentially human. More alien people should be weirder. It is important to remind yourself that these are not people who are repressed, who need to be shown the way, be freed or educated. They are right, what they believe is true, you are weird.

Etiquette

1. Weaponry is obscene and must be covered. Soldiers might fight naked, since they are basically sluts anyway. They whip off their burkas when trouble starts. Polearms upholstered in tasteful flowery linen.
2. Energetic greeting. Headbutts, flailing, psychic probe, elaborate hand shakes. Harmless if both parties are good at it. Test etiquette or take damage as club.
3. To refer to yourself is considered rude. Even doing weird robot talk like "this one" is quite tacky. Huge amount of linguistic acrobatics is required to ask for something "what a handsome sandwich that is" = "can i have that sandwich please". The people are considered very attentive to others' needs, but really they're just being pragmatic since no one can ask for anything.
4. Displays of emotion are rude to the point of being non-existent. People smile and function normally, but showing sincere feeling is not done. Private lives might be rife with exuberant vented emotion, or it may bleed over into the bedroom. Possibility of traditional emotion, such as polite clapping, laughing at set intervals.
5. A body part is considered highly sexual. 1-noses 2-ears 3-eyebrows 4-tongues 5-fingers 6-nails 7-elbows 8-backs 9-knees 10-toes 11-heels 12-rolltwice. 50/50 chance they will kept covered and subject to taboo and modesty, or exaggerated. Think prosthetics, makeup, revealing clothes. Thickly drawn on eyebrows, crotch extensions.
6. Wearing shoes is disgusting. Poor people wear shoes for work, but usually just walk about with filthy, calloused feet. Rich people might have teams of servants picking clean the road ahead of them, taking forever to walk anywhere. Regular foot baths. Every house has at least a small muddy foot bath at the door.
7. Noteworthy peculiarity in greeting. Kissing (consider: kissing foreheads, eyes, noses, ears. Asymmetrical, one kisses the nose, one the chin. Hierarchical implications). Exposure (lifting hats, raising/dropping trousers, flapping aside your cape. These actions may have lost the physical object they were associated with, thus lifting your cap is now an odd salute).
8. Dancing/singing/comedy/theatre as routine parlour entertainment. Performed by attendees of meals or parties as matter of course. They may be improvised or may draw from a rich selection of traditional routines.

Dress

1. Homogeneous. Everyone wears very similar outfits, or of similar materials, or a single colour. Maybe all clothes are made of wound rope or they all wear fezs and blue spectacles.
2. Clothes optional. Nudity is casual and met with indifference. This may be limited to a gender or age group. Naked old ladies.
3. Mutilation is common. Piercings, tattoos, fashionable dismemberment. Removal of nose/ear/eye.
4. Everyone covered everything. One random body part is considered acceptable to be shown. Probably eyes or hands. Consider more exciting things than burkas, like ninjas or thickly wrapped togas where the people look like balls of wool with knitting needles in. This may be due to beliefs in modesty or just fashion.
5. Pets. Common to use live animals as fashion accessories. This may be practical, like having a hawk to keep away pigeons, or purely display, like teaching a ferret to drape around your neck.
6. The sexes are very different. Roll them completely separately. Very distinct look and expectations. In this culture cross-dressing will be possible and more common/prominent. Explore that possibility, consider implications.
7. Hair is manipulated heavily. Held firm with animal blood or specific coloured mud. Total hairlessness as a sign of beauty. Kept huge with elaborate metal frames. Covered in dead animals. Replaced with cloth. Hair topiary, matted into shapely "hats".
8. Nudity as social scale. The rich wear nothing while the poor dress in endless filthy layers. Nudity represents the access to warmth? The opposite may be true, where the rich wear clothes 'cos it's valuable, the poor are prevented. Like the the old Imperial Purple. Origins or traditions may be misty. Skin painting a distinct possibility.

Family

1. Families are communal under a patriarch/matriarch/location/street/date of birth. Blood relatives are not considered noteworthy.
2. Marriage does not exist. Unions are like friendships, improvised, sprawling, personal
3. All social engagement is official. Marriage ceremonies, friend ceremonies, enemy ceremonies. Most significant interactions must be played out within the confines of a relationship or else is considered illegal/immoral.
4. Men/Women collect partners as a sign of fertility/wealth/power. Large families, easily enters hundred of grand children. What do the many single people of the dominant sex do? Underclass? Ruling class? Workers? Exiled? Killed? What are the interactions between families?
5. Clans of extended families. Family name carries a lot of weight.
6. Families have historical subservient families. Complicated interrelations and dependencies. Entire subclass of bureaucrats are needed to maintain this.
7. Gender is determined by familial role. Between 3 and hundreds. Consider the multiple partner marriages: as the Xs marry large numbers of Ys the Xs left without the chance to marry become Zs. Circumcisions can change things, dress can be involved, soldiers might be a gender of their own, renouncing traditional gender states in favour of big soldier orgies.
8. Stringent child screening. Babies aren't named until a certain test (physical or spiritual) is passed. Babies are left out for the wolves, the uneaten are taken in. Babies are submerged in chaos matter, causing them to be peculiar like everyone else.
9. Pregnant women are sent to special pregnant towns, where everyone is pregnant. Run by mothers of miscarriages? Priests? Public pregnancy is likely either taboo, or obscene.
10. Everyone is raised by the government. The king/pope/mayor is their father. Blood ties do not exist. Very patriotic.

War

1. Flower wars. Ceremonial warfare is conducted. This will have different rules to all out war, set places, set traditions, set methods and purposes.
2. Champions. Two individuals fight, or small ceremonial "armies" of 5 guys. With this sytem soldiers would be useless. Hero culture, stables of heroes being trained for war. Small handfuls of them. Live like sumo wrestlers. Maybe they sumo wrestle?
3. Hill of the king. Wars end when the leader dies. Battles are mainly attempts to get to them. Kind of like a rugby match with two balls.
4. Auction. Mercenaries long ago replaced standing armies. You won by having the best mercenaries the longest. In time people cut out the middle man and just competed on who could throw away the most money.
5. No soldiers, only mobs. The leader raises a rabble many thousands strong and they rabble on over to their enemy.
6. Coup only. Assassins are sent to infiltrate and kill en masse. Might be people or just politicians. Carries on until surrender, each side assassinating like mad.
7. Monster hunters. The only military is grizzled monster hunters who track down the gnarliest cthonic beasts to unleash on their enemies.
8. Seasonal. Wars are a matter of course. If you don't have an enemy you make one for a few months and go home.

Cherished Attitude

1. Sincerity. As long as what you do is done sincerely it is considered acceptable. If murder is done sincerely people may sincerely prevent you from doing so, but it is not evil.
2. Hospitality is of primary importance. Welcome to homes, many traditions of protection or service.
3. Peace. Anger, ambition, any conflict is considered extremely harmful. Those pushing too hard against the peace are evil. Retaliation to those breaking peace may be very hostile. Executions, trials, banishment.
4. Ambition. Personal success is a priority. If you must harm others in you ascent it is okey as long as you win. Lots of business, war is common, retention of arms and power is desired.
5. Kindness. The integrity of others' feelings is a priority. Politics is slow and gentle, fraught with frustrations.
6. Secrets. Knowledge shared is knowledge halved. People are respected by the amount of knowledge they might have. Demonstrate it by dripping it out to apprentices. Gain apprentices in exchange for favours. Currency of secrets.
7. Violence. Physical dominence is prime. If you can overpower an opponent you are correct. This may be personal power or the ability to accumilate those with it to your side.
8. Piety. Religious sincerity, or just knowledge or trappings, is important. A good person is religious, perfectly observes tradition and so on.
9. Individuality. Strive for uniqueness. Eccentricity loses its meaning among these people. Encourages taste makers, influencing others to imitate for the chance of mirrored originality.
10. Academic. Being able to talk eloquently on a wide array of subjects. Everyone is learned, or at least capable of appearing so. Problems with half-knowledge being passed off. Pseudo-intellectuals.
11. Renaissance men. Ability to perform many tasks is respected. Variety and vitality.
12. Post modern irony. Roll again for the attitude that has been past. That attitude is parroted and mocked, a pale imitation. Some old people might still adhere to it, young people snear.

Planar Time Dilation

So Planescape loved its taxonomies and endless demystifying, but they never mentioned time dilation. When it is 9am in Sigil, what time is it in Dis? Two twins left home, one twin moved to Arborea and another to Mechanus, when they meet again many years later will they be of equivalent age?

 To help think about it, we need to decide on a measuring stick. Using the old rubber sheet analogy is difficult, since the planes don't have our universe of space and stars rolling around on it. No good thinking like that then. What about vortex theory? Spacetime enters from the centre of all solid matter, diffusing from an area of higher concentration to an area of lower concentration. The point of highest concentration also coincides with a zone of lowest entropy, the past. All energy then proceeds to a zone of high entropy, the future. The flow is time.

 More suitably mysterious and mystical I think. Entropy manifests as the ragged edge of nothing, nibbling at existence, watched over by the horizon knights in their roaming fortresses. To the knights time moves quickly while they watch the nothing, circling the planar sink. In the city at the heart of creation time hardly moves at all, giving its citizen a unique vantage and the leisure of philosophising and discussing the minutiae of life, the universe and everything. When the discussions come to talking about the outside world one can pass through a portal, spend years investigating first hand, and be back in time for next week's meeting of minds.

 You couldn't create robust rulings for time without explaining the universe to death, but knowing that The City is almost static and the outer edges are roiling rapids allows an amount of sense. In practise consider the time of another plane to be completely disconnected to the one you stand on and with only the centre holding. While the party's activity is in one place they can rely on their sense of time and space, if they leave time moves at the speed of drama.

Character Backgrounds in Troika

Been quiet 'cos I've been busy. Let's talk about a part of that.

Troika is an RPG I'm writing. A revision of first edition Advanced Fighting Fantasy mixed with the Planescape I imagined existed when I only owned a couple of books for it.

It turned out my imaginary Planescape was more exciting than the generally stodgy fare we ended up getting. The early books hinted at vast worlds of weirdness, but then every writer who came after tried their hardest to stomp it into boxes, to categorise and order everything. Labels everywhere, nothing felt far away or mysterious. If you wanted an answer you just needed to buy their next book for it to be explained in painfully uninspired detail. Harumph!

So, ambient story telling. No essays on the definitive categories of demons, just rules and gaps to be filled. Every character made in Troika gets a random background like the two below:





Temple Knight of Telak the Swordbringer
You were once a fanatical monk, set to maintain constant martial readiness in preparation for the end times when all doorways crumble inwards.

Possessions
The blessing of Telak
6 weapons of choice, kept in pristine condition and carried at all times
(Telak will withdraw his blessings otherwise)
Suit of scale armour
Traditional skull plate, affording you excellent vision for watching out for the end of days

Skills
3 in three fighting skills of your choice
3 Awareness

Miss Kinsey’s Diner’s Club

The Eaters know that there are only two worlds: the without and the within. They intend to insert as much of the prior into the later as they can,experiencing the finest culinary delights possible.

All dining experience is open to them, nothing is forbidden at Miss Kinsey’s. Try the other, other, other white meat.

Possessions
Sharp metal dentures (damage as sword) OR forked metal dentures (as knife, but on a critical you may cleanly strip all the flesh from one small appendage) OR blunt metal dentures, for crushing (as knife)
Embroidered napkin

Skills
1 Strength
2 Tracking
2 Trap Knowledge

They're packages, taking away the un-fun hassle of buying skills or making important decisions in a setting that is terribly vague until contact is made. Empirical campaign knowledge only, mechanical knowledge taken out of your hands. Each background gives the player a point to work from, immediately encourages fun (rather than un-fun) decision making on how they interact with the world. They can decide how Miss Kinsey's Diner's Club functions just by rubbing their character against the world. If the GM comes at it with no great vantage point they end up building in the gaps as much as the player. Which is exciting.

What's more, my Diner's Club and others' will differ greatly. It's not pinned down by essays and rules. We know they are stronger than average, they're good at tracking and trapping, and they all have weird mechanical teeth. Why they have these and how they use them is implied broadly enough for the player to come at it however they fancy.

Prompts are powerful and useful. Once there are a couple of hundred of these you'll have a broad spectrum of what the game world is about. We can use sections of it and form our knowledge from just those pieces, triangulate a bit of game world for ourselves without labouring under a weight of words. More is there for you if you want it, and every point you add multiplies the possible interactions between them, until eventually you finally have something that is very much your own. A wider planescape.

AFF & Good & Evil

The thing about Fighting Fantasy that helps it in a vs. TSR comparison is that it's poor and short. They can't pad anything, instead going the complete opposite and becoming bewilderingly brief and to the point. There's this and this  and they take you here and what do you do? From moment to moment it doesn't make much sense. They handed the writing over to a sweaty pile of authors and let them have at it, then made sense of it retroactively much like they'd go on to (well, kinda simultaneously) do with Warhammer 40k. And as we all know, 40k is the best setting ever made, so the system works.


All of us who play Advanced Fighting Fantasy are obliged to become one of the sweaty pile, to possess only cursory knowledge of what everything else in the setting is doing, and to worry about it later. It'll be stronger for it.

With that please consider Good and Evil. Titan is all about the conflict of good vs evil, with you being Good, if you're to believe everything people tell you as Mr. Protagonist. An initial reaction as a GM is to dismiss it as childish and cut it out, but that's against the sweaty writer code. Instead, look at the subtext: Titan (the book) is the foremost explainer of the situation, blaming certain gods for making evil races and us being justified in wiping them out. It describes places like Port Blacksand that apparently integrate evil and good races as being eeevil, it also describes instances of the good guys genociding orcs to take the habitable bits of Allansia and admits they went a bit far but oh well, good guys.

In one throw away paragraph the narrator of Titan admits to being from Salamonis, heart of Good and Humans and Civilisation. It's a small jump to start looking at Titan in a similar context as the Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer. A biased work of history, something a Victorian gentleman scholar would put out. Something the players and not the gm needs to worry about.

Good and evil only exists in the context of the people talking about it. It is as objective and fabricated to the people of Titan as it is to us. The only real paradigmatic conflict is Law vs Chaos, duh.

An alternative expression of the canonical multiverse

Planehammer: Faces of Evil pt. 2

Still talking about Faces of Evil, but I'll spare you further blow-by-blow action from the Baatzu bits. I don't see it serving any purpose beyond being grumpy. Instead I'll tell you what they are and what they should be.

The baatzu as presented are a rope in a tug of war match between every TSR writer that's got their hands on it. They all had ideas on what they were, ideas of varying quality and compatibility that all got piled in and presented to us. Bunches of surface deep Faustian devil stories with a side of half-arsed fictional biology and lazy made up cultural info. The later is especially annoying, since the concept of talking about Baatzu art and literature sounds fun, easy to make interesting. And yet it's just another regurgitation of the party line "it is lawful and evil, lacking imagination". Oh good, like everything else.

That alignment system was poison for intelligent writing in Planescape. It puts a cap on the depth of examination, causing everything to come down to "well they're evil & lawful!".  What does that even mean? What is lawful? What is evil? The baatzu are diminished by the declaration that they "want to spread evil". Why? Why do they want that? This book and all others TSR wrote about people or cultures suffer from severe shallowness, stick to their geographical work, much better.

So what should they be? Easy: Nazis. They are a nation of meritocratic ubermensch who live or die by their effectiveness and are united by a national desire to wipe out a race they see as destructive. Easy peasy. With that description you instantly know what to do with them, how they can be something other than evil just cos shutup.

• They have limited forms/ranks, but they develop new forms sometimes. They strive for racial perfection.
• They are the initiators of the Blood War, no one else. The Tanari are just a big punch bag, neither side will win. This was as intended?
• The lowest, shittiest Baatzu has been doing this for hundreds of years, progressing in a hyper competitive environment. You will not beat them at their own game. They are smarter and more competitive than you.
• They are not automatically hostile, they are not random encounter beaties. Each of them view every situation in terms of 1: How can I benefit from this? and 2: How can my race benefit from this? If the answer to both is "not at all" then they aren't interested.
• What we call betrayal, they call healthy competition. They don't screw each other over out of spite or compulsion (usually), they do it as a wonky Darwinian battle royal to weed out the weak. If a lackey were to get lucky and replace their boss they would soon get superseded by a candidate of raw competence. All baatzu are promoted because they are good at what they do. There is no such thing as an incompetent devil.
• They do not view themselves as evil. The tanari are evil and they are, if anything, performing a valuable service that you should be grateful for.
• Baatzu are sent and use expeditionary companies in the Blood War. Groups of other races that are convinced by the baatzu propaganda or have been "protected" from tanari oppression. Why not?

Planehammer: Faces of Evil pt.1

A refutation of the Baatzu as presented by Faces of Evil: the fiends

Firstly, some general points: why have multiple "contributors" to this found-text style book if they all speak the same and with a Sigil accent? Why are they all uniformly urban and colloquial? Also, stop saying "some folks/scholars/whatever believe", I mean, fuck, this is supposed to be a book by demon experts, act like it. On the flip side though, these guys know way too much. Why do they know the identities of the Dark Eight? The ins and outs of the political structure? You can't be simultaneously a blabbering idiot and omniscient with regards to this impenetrably Byzantine (but apparently entirely simple and single page illustrationable) society. This book would be 1/3 the size if you cut out all the waffling, but then that's the 90s for you.

A Nupperibo

Origin of the Species

Nope, none of this chapter, all flimflam. The Baatzu are a self shaping race. The Nupperibo (effectively, along with the Lemures, the Baatzu peasantry) are the only natural form, springing up from the body of the plane. Before the fiends knew how to drag themselves up to godhood by their bootstraps, this was it. A flat hell full of angry little fat men and Gods.

The Lemures represent the first steps of malleability. Just look at them.


Station to Station

Lemures

There are not just 13 kinds of Baatzu. Each of the eight ministries have their own progression of form and function. The 13 as presented by this book and others represents only the Ministry of War, though there is much crossover.

The hierarchy adheres to a totally alien logic, is inconceivably convoluted, and above all is not understood by non-Baatzu except in the most vague and general terms.

The Process of Promotion

This chapter has some of the best bits in the book. It explains how each promotion/transformation has a specific method to it. For instance, a lemure chosen to become a spinagon fights in a big battle royale until one is left. The winner is carted off and skinned, whereby the foetally forming spinagon inside is revealed. Hoorah!

Most interestingly is the one where kocrachons rearrange the fiends bones to form the new shape, adding another syllable to his name which is written on his bones that are made of not-bone. I propose to finish this idea the book almost had:


BAATZU BONES AND TRUE NAMES

The baatzu don't have bones in the sense we know them. Theirs are angular and metallic, obviously man-formed and hammered. On every surface is writing which, if arranged and read correctly, will spell the fiends true name. Short of getting them to tell you this is pretty much the only way of learning it, but arranging a few hundred bones in the correct order isn't easy.

As the fiend ages and changes form their frame is enlarged and complicated. This is less a matter of bigger is better and more a practical result of just having more bones in their bodies on which to hold their ever lengthening name.

Baatzu green-steel? That's demon bones, forged into weapons. THAT'S why you never see it sold, and why it hurts demons, and is cool. Also, demon weapons like in Warhammer are now a thing. Trap the spirit of a big powerful demon in a bunch of weapons.


Bodily Form and Function

Another gumpfy chapter. Who took the time to figure out a Baatzu's pineal glad is big? Or their long to short muscle ratio is different, explaining their endurance? And further more, who cares?

Gender
They don't have genders, though if they did they would be closer to being males than not. Even the physically female Erinyes can and will fuck you and make little tieflings together.

Birth
Baatzu don't make babies, they harvest nupperibo.

Powers

I'm going to skip this chapter altogether since it dedicates hundreds of words to describing ""Colder Gellugons" (they shoot ice!) and balancing "assassin" variants of demons.


More later.

Elves of Planehammer

Elves are a seasonal race. 

They begin life saturated and full of vitality, a barely restrained energy. As they approach their 100th year they begin to change. Their skin and minds darken, becoming bitter and cruel. The light goes out and they gather together to resent the world. And then, as their 150th year creeps on, the sunlight enters again and the cycle begins anew. 

Elves are fixed

Though functionally immortal they aren't as concerned with death as one might assume. When an elf eventually succumbs to some unpleasant end a new one springs up, fully formed. Not even the elves are entirely sure where they come from, but they always greet another of their kind very matter of factly. Of course you are here, at this time, for we must all play our parts.

Every Elf a Player, Every world a Stage

Certain elves live their history so that others do not to forget it. Those in their Summer play heroes and kings, while those in the throes of Winter perform the part of the villain, the beast. They gather at the historic places of these events and recreate them, blow by blow, death by death. If the story was to go any way other than how it was meant to it is taken as an omen of coming change, where once a hero died he lived, where once a darkness was purged it prevailed. They must reassess their past in light of these events.

M	D3+3
WS	2D10+30
BS	2D10+30
S	D3
T	D3
W	D3+2
I	2D10+50
A	1
Dex	2D10+40
Ld	2D10+20
Int	2D10+40
Cl	2D10+10
WP	2D10+40
Fel	2D10+20
Fate points	D3
Age (if under 16 roll again and add it)	10D12/10D20
Mandatory Skills	Excellent Vision Dance/Musicianship/Sing Random

AGE	Skills
16-20	-
21-30	+1
31-40	+2
41-50	+3
51-60	+2
61-70	+1
71-80	-
81-90	-1
91-100	-2
101-110	-3
111-120	-2
121-130	-1
131-140	-
141-150	+1
151-160	+2
161-170	+3
171-170	+2
181-190	+1
191-200	-
201+	-1 etc.

Basic Careers

Elven Chorus

Advance Scheme

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Dex

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Fel

+10

+10

+1

+10

+10

When a performance happens not everyone is a tragic hero or vile demon. Some must give the hero shelter, or block his progress. These are the nameless elven chorus.

Skill

Acting

Trappings

None

Career Entries

Any elven hero of villain may return to being part of the choir

Career Exits

Girelda, the Humaness

The White

Minstrel

Knight of the Post

Advanced Careers

Girelda, the Humaness

Advance Scheme

M

WS

BS

S

T

W

I

A

Dex

Ld

Int

Cl

WP

Fel

+20

+10

+1

+3

+10

+10

+10

+10

+20

Girelda the Humaness, loyal companion to Fadl Jory who turned aside the spear of Balachandra. Noble hearted and light spirited, the only human that could outshine an elf in full bloom. She followed Fadl throughout the great wheel her entire life, through countless acts of heroism, until he descended, as all elves do, into winter. Still she followed despite her dismissal and threats of destruction from her former friend. Her loyalty was the end of her and enshrined her in the history of our people.

Skills

Charm

Cook

Storytelling

Wit

Trappings

Dagger

Pot and pans

Constant sunny disposition

Career Entries

Elven Chorus

Career Exits

Fadl Jory, who turned aside the spear of Balachandra

Tieflings: Sins of the Mother

(Pictures that are obviously by Matthew Adams are by Matthew Adams)

Demon blood dies hard in the veins of man. Each child born on down the line attracts a gathering of aunties hoping they don't gain sight of horns or fangs or worse. They stand in silence, two buckets of water at the ready. One warm and clean, one cold and deep.

Tiefling class

As Scoundrels:

Very simple. A specialist may spend 2 skill points at creation or on levelling up to gain +1 attack bonus or 1 spell "slot", i.e. you may memorise a single spell and cast it without blowing everyone up or turning them into piles of eyeballs.

If you don't want to be a gross demon baby then
at least do the sexy tiefling thing right

HOWEVER:

• XP as Specialist and saves as Cleric
• At creation roll on the Sins of the Mother (part 2) table 3 times. Spend 1 of your starting skill points for another roll. Only at creation, you were born with this.
• For any purposes that may be relevant, you count as a demon. If it is important whether you are a demon OR a human, pick the most inconvenient one

Sins of the Mother

If something contradicts a prior roll ask the GM for a do-over.

Step 1: Your skin is a weird colour

1. Black
2. Blue
3. Brown
4. Normal fleshy colour
5. Green
6. Jale
7. Orange
8. Purple
9. Red
10. Ulfire
11. White
12. Yellow

Step 2: You came out wrong

1. Evil eyes
   Your eyes are pitch black. Along with allowing you to see in pitch darkness you may lock eyes with someone and force them to take a magic save. If this save is failed they take -1 to all rolls until you die. They will know that this curse is your fault.
   
   
2. Ram horns
   Almost fashionably demonic. Head-butt people for 1d6 damage
   
   
3. Goat legs (bare bum optional)
   Move 1/3 faster than normal
   
   
4. Corpulence
   You are incredibly fat. Circus fat. Unrelated to consumption. Even if you are starving to death you will still be obscenely fat. +5 CON
   
   
5. Demonic muscles
   Muscles on muscles. 8-pack, square head, so on. +5 strength
   
   
6. Prehensile tail
   Whatever form it takes, you can use it like a weak third hand. Using it to attack is at -4.
   
   
7. Forked tongue 
   You were born to weave falsehoods into words. +1 to any rolls related to lying, disguise or other such things. The DM should give you some slack in non-rolling situations. Your tongue is also literally forked
   
   
8. Useful Wings
   Leathery bat wings, oily vulture feathers, raw bones that make no sense. Whatever form they take means you can fly at your normal movement speed. You can't hide them.
9. Fangs
   Impressive overbite, very obvious. Bite people for 1d6 damage. Every time you win a grapple get a free bite if you like.
   
   
10. Gills
    Breath under water without trouble. They flap and generally look unpleasant while you talk.
    
    
11. Trunk
    Instead of a nose, a glorious trunk. Not quite elephant length, rather 3d20 inches long. It can hold things and otherwise twitch about disturbingly. If it's at least 6 inches you can hold a knife with it.
    
    
12. Extra arm
    Random handedness, random position. Still, an extra arm.
    
    
13. Udders
    Your breasts are bulbous and sagging. Milk can be extruded from them with the same effects as your blood. By default that's just nourishing.
    
    
14. Orix horns
    So much more sinister than goat horns. Not very useful for butting people, but it is mightily impressive. +1 to reaction rolls.
    
    
15. 2d6 extra nipples
    Like it says. They serve no function beyond your normal nip abilities.
    
    
16. Crow feet
    Your leg pinch off below the knee into huge crow feet. Clawed (1d4 damage) and spindly.
    
    
17. Pig tail
    Not prehensile, not very useful. Painful to tuck it in, best to let it hang.
    
    
18. Lobster hands
    You only have two big fat fingers on each hand. -1 to all manual dexterity rolls. However they're meaty and strong. +1 to any rolls involving crushing stuff in your hands
    
    
19. Albino
    Pale white skin, pink eyes, blond hair. -1 to everything while in the sunshine
    
    
20. Extra eye
    Random location on your body, you have an extra eye.
    
    
21. Atrophy
    A random limb is withered. Anything performed with that member is at -2.
    
    
22. Beak
    You talk like the bird from The Neverending Story 2. Also feel free to peck people's eyes out for 1d4
    
    
23. Beast with a thousand...
    1.eyes 2.noses 3. ears 4. dicks/vaginas 5. tongues 6. teeth. All over your body.
    
    
24. Bird legs
    See Crow Feet, but all the way to the torso
    
    
25. Acid blood
    When you take more than 5 points of damage in one go everyone adjacent to you saves vs. breath or gets your alien blood on them. 1d4 damage per turn until a round is spent wiping it off.
    
    
26. Boils
    Pustules, foetid sores, weeping skin, you have it all. It doesn't cause you much discomfort, you're used to it. The exact blemishes come and go, but you are always covered in them. -2 to reaction rolls. However, sentient, sane folks must save vs poison to hold it togehter enough to grapple you. If they fail they miss their turn from flinching.
    
    
27. Breathe fire
    Bit of a misnomer. Rather than exhaling fire you may breathe it in. Smoke, flames, volcanic fumes, all good to you. Normal heat doesn't bother you, though a magic fireball will still mess you up.
    
    
28. Centaur
    Go here and roll a d6. You are half that.
    
    
29. Claws
    Strong stinky claws grow from your fingers and toes. Shoes may prove a problem. 1 in 6 chance they're retractable. D4 damage
    
    
30. Cyclops
    You've got one big eye in the middle of your forehead. -1 to shooting things. However, you can see the future. This sight is limited to the event of your own death. In game terms, this means you can tell the GM once per game "this isn't how I die", and you don't. Can't be used where you're deliberately putting yourself in a fatal situation.
    
    
31. Blood hunger
    The blood of fiends flows close to the surface. Once per day you can go mental, screaming and raging. All you can do is attack, rip and tear. No sensible chatting or fine manipulation. Let it all out slugger. Get +(your level) to all rolls involving hitting and damaging. You must attack every round, even if it's your friends. You only quell the blood hunger on a successful poison save (taken at the start of your turn if you want) or when rendered unconscious.
    
    
32. Excrement blood
    Yes, poo blood. It flows thickly through your veins. If your skin is pale you are streaked with dark veins. If you take 5+ damage in one go everyone near you must save vs. poison or be stunned from the stink and getting blood-poo in their hair.
    
    
33. Metal blood
    Liquid metal! Silver veins. People wounding (5+) you need to save vs. breath or take 1d6 damage from molten hot metal
    
    
34. Mucous blood
    Thick green-yellow filth. If you're ever told you're bleeding out get bonuses to not do it. Your blood is slow and sticky.
    
    
35. Mud blood
    Peaty earth blood. Smells nice.
    
    
36. Poison blood
    Save vs breath or have to save vs. poison from getting this in your mouth. Anyone failing dies. Yup.
    
    
37. Bird blood
    Small sparrows burst out of any suitably severe wound (5+). This is incredibly painful, causing 1d6 damage, but the birds fly right at the enemy's face, giving him -2 to stuff and dealing d6 damage. Every turn more birds burst out unless you put a hand over it and make calming noises to them. After the enemy is dead they just fly away.
    
    
38. Tar blood
    Thick and black. Anyone causing you 5+ damage bust pass a strength test or their weapon gets stuck in you.
    
    
39. Plant blood
    White/green sap blood. You are always fragrant.
    
    
40. Vomit blood
    Stinking chunky filth bursts out of wounds (5+) with great pressure. Saves vs breath to anyone next to you. They must save vs magic or roll on this list.
    
    
41. Wind blood
    A yawning portal to Pandemonium lays at your heart. When wounded (5+) the yowling madness escapes. Everyone except the tiefling must save vs magic or be stunned for a turn.
    
    
42. Boneless
    Born without bones, a truly horrific experience for those witnessing. You can't wear armour because of your fluid form, but otherwise function normally. Small spaces are pretty easy to deal with.
    
    
43. Corrosive vomit
    Once per day you may squirt out your guts. This deals 1d10 damage and ignores armour. Saves vs breath for half.
    
    
44. Crown of flesh
    You have a series of protruding growths on your head that look distinctly crown-like. +3 reaction from demons. -1 from everyone else.
    
    
45. Detachable limbs
    If a limb is severed it still functions normally. However they don't reattach themselves. Instead you'd need to brace them to yourself some how. This applies to everything, even your head. Dismemberment still hurts and can kill you, but only through damage, not automatically.
    
    
46. Dripping puss
    You leave a trail of thick red & green puss everywhere you go. It stinks, makes you easy to follow and attracts flies. -2 reaction in confined spaces and +2 to track you.
    
    
47. Emaciated
    Always painfully thin regardless of lifestyle. You only need to eat half as much as a normal person.
    
    
48. Enormous head
    Your head is 2d2 times as big as normal, giving you an ogre-ey look. Helmets no longer fit.
    
    
49. Extra joints
    A random limb has extra joints. Your unusual snake-like movements make it very hard to grapple you. +2 on grapple tests.
    
    
50. Back mouth
    You have a second mouth in the back of your head. You don't control it and should be considered a separate character with a distinct personality. It can and in fact needs to eat and drink, but you have no idea where it all goes.
    
    
51. Eyestalks
    Your eyes extend from your sockets on stalks. Besides being a bit gross it isn't hugly useful. -1 in grapple test 'cos people quickly learn to grab you by the eyeballs.
    
    
52. Feathers
    50/50 partial/full coverage. If partial, roll for location. It'll be symmetrical. Roll on the skin colour table for a suitable colour for them.
    
    
53. Faceless
    You were born with no eyes, no nose, no ears or mouth! The demonchild can't speak but seems to hear and see perfectly well. Doesn't need food or water to survive.
    
    
54. Fits
    Save vs. magic when exposed to a certain trigger (see table) or fit out, foaming at the mouth. Save each turn to come round. When recovered you are at -4 to everything until you rest.
    
    
55. Foetid touch
    Your hands are slick and sweaty with disease. If anything you touch comes into contact with an open wound or someone's mouth they must save vs poison or contract dysentery.
    
    
56. Fur
    It can be patchy or luxurious, your choice. Slight resistance to mundane cold.
    
    
57. Huge X
    One random limb is twice as big as it should be. Double its damage.
    
    
58. Spines
    A crest of spines runs from your forehead, down your back and to the base of your spine. You need to get creative with clothing. -1 to people grappling you, those things hurt.
    
    
59. Headless
    Born without a head. You can sense everything within 20 metres of you as though you had normal senses, somehow. Unfortunately you do still need to eat by stuffing book and water down an unpleasant hole in your neck stump. Eesh.
    
    
60. Hideous
    You're ugly as sin. But normal ugly. A terribly ugly person. People often judge you by it and consider it to represent your true nature. -2 to reaction rolls and loyalty checks.
    
    
61. Frog legs
    You have long bouncy frog legs. You appear smaller because of how you stand (like a frog) but you're normal height. You can jump 15 feet straight upwards.
    
    
62. Hunchback
    You have a malformed hump back. Armour costs three times as much since it must be custom made.
    
    
63. Hypnotic gaze
    Lock eyes with someone and speak gently to them with your demon tongue. Once per day, as charm person.
    
    
64. Inside out
    OH DEAR GOD LET IT DIE. Functionally uninteresting, but your skin is inside out. You leave sticky patches when you sit down and can fake death really well.
    
    
65. Conjoined internal twinYour parents dismissed your friend as imaginary, a result of the other children being scared of you. Only when they put their ears to your chest and heard to voice inside did they come to realise when you were. Your inside-brother gives good advice, but is very pre-occupied with self preservation. You are his world.
    
    
66. Hatred
    You hate something (see trigger table). While in its presence you gain -1 to all non violent rolls and +1 to the opposite. You must save vs. magic to not assault your source of hatred if given the opportunity.
    
    
67. Large ears
    Large and saggy like an elephant. Keeps you cool in the summer but otherwise harmless.
    
    
68. Thick skin
    Your basic AC is increased to 13 due to your crusty, calloused skin. Constantly itchy.
    
    
69. Long legs
    Your legs are twice as long as they should be. You can move 1/3 faster than other people, but your height is often a problem.
    
    
70. Long neck
    Long snakelike neck. You can twist it 180 degrees!
    
    
71. Long nose
    Long and saggy. -1 in grapples 'cos people tend to grab it.
    
    
72. Mad as trousers
    You're generally a bit barmy and once per game the DM can switch a decision you make to the opposite if they think you've not been suitably unhinged.
    
    
73. Immune to magic
    Magic washes over you like water. Any magic that demands an internal change in your will have no effect. You can't be mind controlled, exploded or healed. However a fireball or summoned hyena could still do you in.
    
    
74. Mane
    You have a fabulous mane.
    
    
75. Face twin
    Emerging from a random location (see table) is a malformed foetal twin. It gibbers and twitches at convenient intervals. Screams when in the presence of something (trigger table)
    
    
76. Massive smartness
    You're were born with knowledge, an old soul. Probably literally. You have memories of fire and a fall. Either way, +5 intelligence.
    
    
77. Useless Wings
    Vestigial wings on your back. Their look is up to you, but all they do is flap excitedly.
    
    
78. Shadow
    Your shadow is an active limb. Anything it falls on can be manipulated as though you touched it. Unfortunately this also goes for damage. If someone stabs your shadow it's like stabbing you.
    
    
79. Multiple heads
    You have an extra head. Create it as a henchman without strength, dexterity or constitution. It will have a class and a personality and demand it's fair cut.
    
    
80. Sharp tongue
    Your tongue is like that of a chameleon, but sharp and strong. You can extend it to 3 metres and use it to grab things or cause d4 damage.
    
    
81. Tiny head
    Your head, and the brain in it, are teeny tiny. -d6 intelligence and charisma. +2 vs mind control effects.
    
    
82. Poison bite
    Once per day you can bite someone and poison them. They must save vs poison or die
    
    
83. Scales
    50/50 partial/full cover. Either way, gives you added protection (base ac 14) and looks good.
    
    
84. Scorpion tail
    A huge chitinous tail erupts from the base of your spine, easily 4 metres long. It can lash out for d6 damage, causing a save vs poison in those taken damage. They must save every turn or take a further d4
    
    
85. Rearranged face
    Randomise that face. You look like a Mr. Potato head. This changes every time you wake up.
    
    
86. Short legs
    Half the length of normal legs. Half movement.
    
    
87. Soulless
    When people look into your mind they see a gaping void. There's nothing. You are spiritually barren. Godly magic can't affect you and you are immune to effects that play with your emotions.
88. Pig snout
    Oink. +2 to finding truffles or other stinky ground food
    
    
89. Weird voice
    Your voice...: 1:always echoes 2:booms 3:squeeky like a mouse 4:hissy like a snake 5:slurping, drool covered words 6:only speaks backwards
    
    
90. Suckers
    You have an array of suckers on d3 ransom loactions. These assist in grappling (+1 per location) and can hold things. Also look gross.
    
    
91. Thorns
    Your skin is covered in fine, small thorns that break off when brushed against like a cactus or rose. d2 automatic damage to anyone you touch or grapple. The life of a thorny tiefling is a lonely one.
    
    
92. Impressive Eyebrows
    Enormous or exotic, whatever form they take they are mightily interesting.
    
    
93. Trail of slime
    Your lower body is that of a huge slug. You move at half speed and leave a stinking trail of slime everywhere you go.
    
    
94. Tentacle arm
    A random arm is of the octopoid variety. Very useful for grappling (+2) and fitting into tight spaces.
    
    
95. Tentacle fingers
    Like the arm (above) only less useful and more disgusting. +1 grapple.
    
    
96. Unnatural appetite
    You eat and only eat: 1: Blood 2:Children 3:Dung 4:Hair 5:Paint 6:Pets 7:Teeth 8:Tears. You need nothing else!
    
    
97. VileYou unconsciously act in ways that offend others. Most people learn to hate you pretty quickly. -10 Charisma
    
    
98. Snail Skin
    Your skin is covered with the thin delicate shell of a snail. It cracks and oozes easily, offering no protection. All it does is give you the appearance of sappy bark.
    
    
99. Radiant
    Your skin glows faintly like the fires of hell. It is alluring. +3 reaction/intimidation rolls. Also casts a dull light, like a candle.
    
    
100. Demonbreed
     You are resilient and powerful, people whisper that your demonic heritage is closer than your mother claimed. Double your HP and optionally remove one Sin of your choice.
     
     

Location Maker (roll d12)

When you need a random location, come here

Sub-tables

1- Head

1. L.Eye
2. R.Eye
3. L.Ear
4. R.Ear
5. Nose
6. Mouth
7. Forehead
8. Back of the head
9. Top of the head
10. Neck

2,3- Chest

1. L.Breast
2. R.Breast
3. Middle of your chest
4. Back

4- Abdomen

1. Stomach
2. Dick
3. Bum

5,6- Right/left arm

1. Shoulder
2. Elbow
3. Somewhere inconveniently in-between

7,8- Right/Left Hand

1. Palm
2. Back of hand
3. End of a finger

9,10- Right/Left Leg

1. Thigh
2. Knee
3. Shin

11,12-Right/left foot

1. Top of foot
2. End of toe
3. Sole of foot

Trigger Table

1. Critics
2. Music
3. Children
4. Philosophers
5. Cats
6. Lightning
7. Rain
8. Direct sunshine
9. Heights
10. Pain
11. Sexual attraction
12. Water
13. Laughter
14. Fire
15. Confined spaces
16. The touch of iron
17. Insects
18. Priests
19. Blood
20. Physical contact

Lammasu Class

Level	Experience	HP	Paralyse	Poison	Breath	Device	Magic	Aspects of the Divine
0	-	1d10	12	10	15	11	14	1
1	0	1d10	10	8	13	9	12	2
2	3,000	+1d10	10	8	13	9	12	2
3	6,000	+1d10	10	8	13	9	12	2
4	12,000	+1d10	8	6	10	7	10	3
5	24,000	+1d10	8	6	10	7	10	3
6	48,000	+1d10	8	6	10	7	10	3
7	96,000	+1d10	6	4	7	5	8	4
8	192,000	+1d10	6	4	7	5	8	4
9	384,000	+1d10	6	4	7	5	8	4
10	576,000	+3	4	2	4	3	6	5
11	768,000	+3	4	2	4	3	6	5
12+	+192,000	+3	2	2	2	2	4	6

General lammasu info:

• Can carry one person on their back.
• Considered divine by some Primes. 1 in 20 chance a Clueless you meet will be one of those folks. They'll be very excited to meet you and do their best to help in whatever way they can. Also probably gonna ask for a ride.
• Ability of clumsy flight. They need plenty of space to take off, including a little run-up. Can flap along at the rate of a brisk jog.
• Stomp someone with their hooves for 1d6 damage.
• No hands, just hooves. There are many problems related to that. Doors, for instance.
• Size of a bull. Inconveniently large. They suffer all the size related penalties of a bariaur and then some.
• HOUSE RULE HP: as fighter. They're bulls!

Favourites of the Powers

Every lammasu is a servant of the Powers, they literally cannot conceive of not serving in this capacity. Pick a god. HOWEVER, lammasus aren't servants of a power. They're fickle with their affections, committed to the act of worship but not the recipient. They may change to any god's worship at a moment's notice as long as it has something in their portfolio that matches the lammasu's own.

Lammasu, for whatever reason, are highly desirable to the powers, who are uncharacteristically generous towards this wandering allegiance. The prevailing opinion on why lammasu are so sought after is that it's a status symbol to hold their attention. The Athar, on the other hand, have other ideas about the relationship and what exactly the gods get out of it, suggesting even that the Powers may need the lammasu far more than they need the Powers.

Aspects of the Divine

Lammasu have an inherent spark of godliness that is gradually uncovered as they travel and expose themselves to the planes. To get you started, here are d66 example abilities, but you should make more.

11

Agriculture
Wild wheat and barley grows in your footprints, touching fruit or vegetables will cause them to sprout fully.

12

Animals
Speak with all animals. This does not guarantee friendliness or that they'll be very smart.

13

Art
You act as a muse. Artists that spend significant time with you are d100% more brilliant.

14

Battle
You have an impressive set of horns. They deal 1d10 damage. If they are cut off they grow back.

15

Beauty
You are beautiful. Under all circumstances you look amazing. If you;re covered in mud you look endearingly rugged.

16

Childbirth
You can predict the sex of a baby and safely perform midwifery. Also, sacrifice this ability to bring back someone from the dead. You birth them anew. 

21

Children
Children instinctively love and trust you. "Child" is defined as 12 and under.

22

Healing
Lick someone to take curses, sadness, grief or poison onto yourself

23

Compassion
The power of "It's ok". Comforting words from you can release inner turmoil in others. They must save vs magic or else burst into tears. How they react to this is down to the individual. Most will consider it a profound numinous experiences, others will feel violated or humiliated.

24

Crafts
Clothes woven from your hair are as protective as leather, beautiful as satin, light as silk. You produce enough hair for one shirt per month.

25

Creation
Once per day the lammasu can produce any fundamental matter it wishes from its mouth. It dribbles it out like a cat sharing a prize catch. One mouthful per day.

26

Darkness
Your pelt is black as pitch. In the deep darkness you are invisible and able to sense those sharing your dark. Not sight, but sense. Deep darkness is the light of a gibbous moon and up (down?).

31

Death
The dead have conceded to leave you in peace. Unless attacked the dead won't bother you. You may also communicate with sentient dead.

32

Deception
Once per day the lammasu can flagrantly lie and people will believe it if they fail a magic save.

33

Despair
You can look into people and see their pain. Once per day you can reveal this information to stun them for d6 turns.

34

Dreams
You can travel via the dreamtime and enter people's sleeping minds. You may bring people with you equal to your level. People's dreams can be exceedingly dangerous, but it is possible to travel between them. Also you don't need to sleep, just spend time in dreams to get rested.

35

Famine
You always look starved and weak. You do not need to eat, and you may share this ability with others. They will suffer the physical effects of starvation but will not die.

36

Fate
Once per game you may say no. This must be abided by.

41

Fertility
Your six great teats can, once per week per teat, issue forth a healing milk. Only works while suckled, cannot be stored. 1d6+level

42

Magic
Cast spells as a magic user of equal level.

43

Nobility
Once per day a lamassu may muster all its noble demeanour, strike its most regal pose, and for one round per level everyone must pass a magic save to do anything other than be awed into quietude. Not especially useful in combat unless everyone fails, but getting a majority may convince others that something skewif is going on and get them to just join in.
Nothingness

44

Oath-keeping
Any explicit agreement made with the lammasu must be obeyed. This is to the letter rather than the spirit. There is no punishment, but one must pass a magic save to do any act against the contract. If you fail you can't bring yourself to do it and can't try again for a day. Anyone getting involved in one of these contracts instinctively knows how it goes.

45

Protection
Have a limited ability to detect hostile intent. If they concentrate for a moment and roll equal to or under their level they can know if someone in sight intends to imminently cause harm (liberally interpreted from the lamassu's point of view)

46

Chaos

If you roll a 1 on a random encounter table, go find another table and roll off that. If that's also a one pick a book and thumb through it. That happens.

51

Slaughter

Your pelt is always splattered with gore. If you have horns, entrails hang from them. Anyone wanting to flee from battle must save vs magic or change their minds. 20s are critical hits, 1s are fumbles, legs and heads and blood fly. Get making some grisly combat additions.

52

Song

The lammasu can sing beautifully. Once per day they may sing to inflict a specific emotion on the listeners. They must save vs. magic or get into it with absolute sincerity.

53

Knowledge

If the lammasu player wants to know something that could conceivably be found in your world equivalent of encyclopaedia, then they know it.

54

Friendship

You look at a lamassu and just wanna be its friend, they're just so damn noble.  Lamassu PCs can maintain henchmen at 1/2 the usual cost. They just want to be near you. Very (+4) loyal, obviously, and usually used to do all those hand related tasks one needs attending to.

55

Vanity

Complete immunity to coercion, mind control, mind reading, getting told off or any other kind of inflicted will.

56

Sacrifice
You may transfer 1d12 HP to another, you must give the full amount. If you die from this your next character loses half as much XP as they usually would.

61

Glory
You are the light. At all times a dull glow surrounds you. The undead are fearful of you.

62

Entropy

Anything you touch decays at an accelerated rate. With some effort you can exclude certain things. Once per day you may degrade a single amount of inanimate mass roughly equal to a small child. This could be rusting a sword, causing curtains of floorboards to rot, withering a plant etc.

63

Holes

You can always find local entrances to the depths and back again. You feel at home in the cthonic depths and can manouvre much better than your less spelunky brethren. If you mess up your mapping the GM should help you out.

64

Thunder

Once per day you can stomp your hooves to produce a deafening thunder clap.

65

Tradition

You have perfect knowledge of local traditions and follow them without fail.

66

The Ocean

The lammasu is as comfortable under the sea as they are in the sky. That is to say, somewhat. You can breath water and manoeuvre inelegantly.

Got any more?